Serving the Church

This week I finished up some work on our Church web site. After the scare last week I am a bit more cautious. Sometimes being a tech has it pitfalls like thinking we are indeed infallible, then something comes along and knocks us off our feet making us realize we aren’t all that.

The Sermons are now on-line and downloadable as an MP3, or play through the web browser, or you can send them in podcast format. Not so sure most of the congregation understands podcasting as yet, but the option is there.

Last week I tried to upgrade Movable Type (MT) from 3.1.2 to 3.2 I followed the instructions by making a backup, then editing the files, then uploading. bam, site gone, admin panel gone, nothing but an error. This was bad as I just announced the Sermons in the newsletter and the weekly bulletin! People will be expecting Sermons, not a dead site, need to act fast. Spent unmentionable hours trying in vain to get the site repaired and running.

Tried to install my backup files but they kept failing on the upload. They would not overwrite the new files. Finally after banging my head against the wall for untold hours, I sent a note to the Hosting Company. They were wonderful and restored the site from an hour just before I broke it, thus saving all of my changes prior to the upgrade.

Lesson learned. God was trying to tell me to leave well enough alone, and brought me down a peg or two. Sometimes it’s easy to get elevated when you create something, and think that that something is in itself your talent. However the site can not be good for anything unless God makes it so, and uses it to move people, I think I lost sight of that.

Building and maintaining the Church web site is my way of serving the Church right now. Once upon a time I served as the Youth Minister, but today am called to the web. There are others more capable in the youth ministry and I fell compelled to get our message out there in the form of the Internet.

The message will only be as good as God allows it to be. The noise of the net is getting louder by the day, and it is not my goal to heard unless it is to be so. Blogging I believe has a limited life span, it will eventually be replaced with something else as it has been in the past, it will be in the future. I have watched the Internet grow from nothing to what it is today and the mutations it has gone through have been many.

I do believe it is a place that can be used by Christians to spread the word, but at the same time it is big responsibility. We can also warp that word unless we listen to what we are being called to do. Some people will only see us through our electronic connection and may never see the Church in action. This can be a dangerous thing or a true blessing.

For now I will continue to serve as called.

Iritis update

Yup, still have it. But, it is barely here anymore :-) That’s the good news. Other news is we still have no idea why it came, and damaged the eye yet again. My iris is open permanently now and the vision is limited. Damage is done.

Today I did the cardio stress test, we are trying everything here, but all is well. Seems the heart is beating strong and doing its thing.

Overall i fell well, and have no real complaints, I mean we could all complain about the little aches here and there, but I don’t have and chronic illness nor any ailment that debilitates me in any way, and therefore count my blessings and thank God.

Christian School,

This year we are sending my son to a Christian School. It is part of a Baptist Church. They are wonderful there, and I thoroughly enjoy dropping him off and picking him up everyday.

Some days when I walk past the Sanctuary, it is loud and rolling and lively. Standing there listening I feel like an intruder at times. We attend a Presbyterian Church and though we get going at times, it is nothing compared to the going on I hear in there.

My son is learning so much. He attends their pre-k program and they use the Abeca learning system. His skills are advancing quite well. He seems to be one of those kids whom the work comes to naturally. He does not struggle at all in the education but rather eats it all up and looks for more. I have a brother like that, but I always struggled to keep up in School.

When we drive home he recites for me the songs they are learning and the prayers they learn. He sings them out as we hit the highway, and am so full sometimes I think i will bust. God has blessed us with this little man and we pray daily that God will protect him and that he shows the proper way in his education.

In contrast, my daughter remains distant. We visit, we talk, her children come over to stay with us, but there remains a distance between us. I was rough on her growing up, I was young inexperienced and selfish. I fought with her mother and those fights and animosity have manifested themselves in her.

Most of the time I invite my daughter to Church and as always she gives excuses though she lives closer to the Church than I do. Too much effort to get all three kids up and out of the house on Sunday she says. I imagine it is allot of work, but it is not a very good excuse as our Church is full of families with Children. We have a van service that will pick up both children and parents if they wish.

When I have both my son and daughter together I see the stark contrast between them. not only the age difference but their personalities. I wonder if Gods plan is something I will ever see in my lifetime or if it is something that will be hidden from me until my death. I worry that my sins will follow my son, and pray that God protects him from those sins.

For now I can only listen to God and follow him and pray that I am listening well enough. Pray that his will be obeyed and do what he asks.

Thanksgiving day over?

Now that Thanksgiving Day is over, does it end? Is that all there is too it, one day where we give thanks for the blessing in our lives, and then in the morning we simply move on.

Not for me. True, the food has been eaten and the mess cleaned up. Frig has some leftovers, but mostly they went with the guests.

The aftermath is a down day, a day of slight depression. Why aren’t we closer, well we are close, but it seems as though it could be better. How can I get them to understand the love of Jesus Christ, and his salvation, and the blessings he has in store for them if they would only open their hearts.

Years ago I stopped trying to persuade my family by force, it would seem I was only chasing them away. So I have calmed down and hope to show them through how I live. There are days I worry that most of my family is not saved.

After a year of agonizing over my son’s education we placed him in a Baptist School. Today we wonder why we agonized when we see him recite the Lords Prayer, and leads dinner time prayers. Yesterday my family got to see his changes and they were amazed by his transformation, some I think were made nervous by it though.

We are all close very close as a family, and we all live locally now. Though some have left the nest we have all come back home to settle. There is something there that keeps us all tied together and something there that keeps the bond tight.

Thanksgiving is a time of such blessings today as it was in the past. Today we have plenty of food no one is wanting, but in the past many times we would receive food from food pantries. There is a Thanksgiving that comes mind where we had nothing but each other and cans of soup. We heated the cans on a wood stove it was all we had. We did not have running water or electricity, but we did have corn meal to go with the soup.

Today is far different form then, but those days are still fresh in my mind. The result is that we give to our local food pantries as I know all to well there are families who still would not have a Thanksgiving without them. It is sad that in this country of plenty since those days of having nothing thirty years ago there is still that need today. It has not changed.

Yesterday as I gave the prayer it was heavily on my mind that families live without homes and without food as we sit in our warm home with plenty to eat. A depression settled over me and still today I cannot shake it. It is the shame that I can have so much while there are people who still have nothing.

I pray for the day when all are fed and housed. God will hear our prayers and hear our cry for his salvation and surely will answer those prayers.

Thanksgiving,

Tomorrow is the big day, Thanksgiving here in the US. My wife is not from the US, and just recently became a US citizen after mulling it over for 21 years. I brought her home from Germany with me when I left the Army while stationed there.

She does not have an appreciation for the day, as obviously Germany does not celebrate Thanksgiving. So each year I struggle with her for understanding the meaning of the holiday. Mind you she does put up with me and the shenanigans I bestow upon her.

Being from a large family, six siblings, the gathering can get quite large when they all have spouses and children. I invite them all, as they are all welcome in my home at any time, but my desire is to have them all there together on that one day a year.

As children my grandparents held the dinner, actually twice a year, Thanksgiving and Christmas we all got together for a sit down Turkey dinner. I do it only once a year. Christmas everyone does his or her own thing.

The preparations start weeks before, getting the house in order. Putting out the decorations, making armaments for seating and all the food. Someone bring the mashed potatoes, another the squash, yet others the pickles olives and so on.

We do the standard fare, Turkey, potatoes, squash, green beans pea's, stuffing and so on. I host as well as provide the Turkey and stuffing and other incidentals. We now use my Grandmothers China and silver, and it is the only time they are used. It is hard to set the place setting using the china, as my grandparents are with our lord now, so to get them out and set them is to remember the times on the farm.

The feeling that comes with everyone being there is at times overwhelming. Spending days preparing for the onslaught of 30 people is daunting, but once we all sit down and pray to God for the blessing of the season, it all washes away. I don’t sit at the table as I am hosting and always running back and forth trying to accommodate all. The real reason is more personal. It is too emotional. I am not taken easily to open acts of emotion, but I cannot hold it back when I have my entire family there.

The struggles of life, the childhood memories, the pain the laughter, and the overwhelming blessing of a large family completely overtake me. I have to go in the back for a time to regroup and collect myself. It is very unbecoming, and something I am not prepared to allow them to see.

Life was not easy for us, and the fact that we are all still here and able to get together is a testament to Gods glory. The bond that we have is extraordinarily tight and was formed through adversity and the struggle to survive. We only had each other to cling to and a bond formed from that cannot be broken and has never been.

This year I think my wife is coming to understand the importance of the meaning to me, as she is making cranberry sauce from scratch! She who does not normally cook. I believe this is her saying she may not understand, but she is trying to. She can see that it is something close to my heart and wants to be part of it.

Each year I think it may be the last as we aren’t children anymore, and life is taking its toll on us. One day some of us wont be here but will be with the Lord, but until then I will be blessed with them all.

God bless.

Am I wrong here or...

Received an invite to a baby shower. that is normal enough at first sight but there is something odd.

We were invited to her baby shower two years ago for her first baby. So is it normal to have a baby shower two years later for number two? I have never been invited to a second shower before so I am not familiar with the process.

OK, to be honest the invite was not for me, but my significant other. Men don’t get invited to baby showers as a rule, save to come at the end and load all the good into the car. Seems we are only as good as we can he man stuff around :-)

My thinking goes in two directions here. One, is it proper to have a second baby shower, and Two, the registry.

In item one, regarding the second shower, as I mentioned I have never before seen an invite for the subsequent babies, so I don't know if this is normal. Being that this is new territory i am not sure how to proceed.

In item two, that’s sort of where the main issue lies. Looking at the registry all of her requested items are large items. Very costly. I can assume she still has many items that can be reused from her first baby as it has only been two years, but the items she has indicated are big ticket items.

A stroller at $189 bucks, a crib at $200 plus, and so on and so. OK, where are the old things from the first baby, and the real issue would be the cost I guess. She is an acquaintance I would not call a friend. We meet her at Church from time to time and say hello is about as far as it goes. No dinners together no outside Church interaction or socializing. So asking for such big ticket items is kind of forward I think.

However to boil it down to the meat of the matter is the cost in this regard. Most of the people she knows are barely ahead of the game financially speaking. She herself is barely making ends meet. She of all p[people know how much a $189 stroller sets one back. that’s allot of money from people who are barely putting food on the table.

The only way I see her getting these big ticket items would be for most of the people invited to pool the money and get one big ticket item. But in the registry she has many such items. I can not see myself buying her such a big ticket item let alone people who are less financially sound as I may be. I am not that many paychecks away from the poor house myself Miss a few and I am indeed in trouble.

I know most the invitee's and I know they are struggling. So, is it just me or am I missing something here or am I just completely in the dark regarding baby showers and how it all works.

I did suggest my significant other to not go, but send a card with a few dollars or a gift certificate.

What happened to her old stroller, does she need two, and if so how will she push two strollers? I know people with multiple children and having two strollers is not normal I think. Another crib and changing table and other baby furniture? She only has a two bedroom apartment after all! Where is she putting all this stuff she hopes to get.

Maybe I it is not my concern, I should not be over thinking this. Maybe its not my business how she spends the money or what she wants for her kids. I would not like it if people always analyzed how I conducted my business.

I don’t know, on the other hand we are a Church family and being such it is incumbent on us to care for one another and cover each others back while also hold each other accountable.

More thinking on this matter.

Who Knows.

So, still have Iritis and still no answers after what, three no four months! It is not Sarcoidosis as it turns out.

So I guess the bottom line is Doctors are similar to the rest of us. they don't have all the answers. The case could be similar to trying to understand an issue with a large computer network I suppose. There might be a problem so you tweak until the problem goes away or you actually find the problem and resolve it.

Doctors I believe work on the same premise. Keep tweaking, or in the Medical field you send someone out to more Doctors till either one of them finds a problem or the problem simply goes away. Or tragically the patient dies.

So says my Doctor, last visit, this is the eye Doctor mind you, he tells me a story about a patient of his who complained about an ailment for about a year. He didn’t particularly like the patient, so he treated her, and then she dies. He told me that sometimes Doctors get patients they may not particularly like but they have to treat them anyway.

I do understand that. From a Network Engineer perspective I can understand how there might be clients that we may not particularly like to serve, or we don’t jump to get their problems resolved.

This is what he tells me. Am I hearing a message that A: he doesn’t like me, B: I am going to die so he is sending me to every other Doctor on the planet, or C: he was simply telling me a story. I think it might be time for a new eye Doctor, too bad I like this guy.

Two more Doctors and I am done with them. One is the Cardiac people, do a full stress work up, and the other is the Back Doctor. After some back x-rays he did not like the looks of the lower back there so I went out for an MRI, we are waiting for those results.

So I say I am done with them all. The Iritis is still there but barely. I think after a few more weeks it will be completely gone now. So it may be a case where whatever the problem was it took care of itself as I have been to every sort of Doctor there is. Poked probed jabbed stabbed, prodded, and so much blood taken I don’t think I have any more in there to bleed out!

Something I did change on my own is my eating habits though. I know food can play a huge part in our health, and to be honest I am not the best eater. I mean I pretty much eat anything put in front of me.

Last month I changed that. I read the labels, yes, actually read them and then I compare the stuff in there with a database of food additives I downloaded to my PDA and if I don’t like what I read I don’t buy or eat the product. I cook whole foods now and less packaged foods. No more fast food period, and no more Soda. Water only.

Perhaps these changes in themselves have repaired the body. Perhaps I was so toxic my body simple was responding to all the toxins being pumped into it.

The work is hard to prepare meals from scratch all the time. There is allot of prep work and lots of pre-planning. I work 8-4 so it is not easy to get home and start a meal from scratch. Many times I prepare parts of the dish the night before and finish it the next night. So tonight for example, I have a dish ready from last night that i will finish preparing then eat. Then I will start tomorrow’s meal tonight.

So who knows? Wouldn’t it be something that all it is, is eating too much junk food and drinking way too much cola. Diet Cola, and that has Aspartame in it, and Aspartame is not so good for the body as I see in my little food additive db.

This would show that sometimes the Doctors simply don’t know. Trial and error, and me as the guinea pig!

Some years back I have lost focus. I used to be in good shape cared about what I ate, and watched my weight. lately, not so much. So I have ten years of abuse to repair. The treadmill has become my friend, and I have always enjoyed cooking and this is a new chapter to look forward to.

The Lumps in the lung was a bit too frightening, and was a huge wake up call. I can’t say I ever felt more mortal then that waiting period. No knowing if the lumps were something to be afraid of or just nothing. I am convinced that God played a role there. Maybe more on that later.

Perhaps I will post some of the recipes here. I have narrowed them down to quick and easy dishes. and sometimes I take more complex dishes and tailor them to a simpler recipe.

God bless.